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Five months ago we hinted that eHarmony will be acquiring online businesses. Here is the second, announced officially yesterday, 2 October 2008.

Weddingbee is a wedding blog of around 20 real brides who write about their wedding planning journey, sharing their ideas, research and personal stories. It also has a wiki, vendor listings, classifieds and discussions on planning for the big event. Brides can apply to volunteer to write for the site. The original owner was a woman named Bee Kim (now a Mrs. Bee).

Read the official announcement in the WB blog.

Unfortunately, after the announcement several WB members and contributors spoke out, packed their bags and said goodbye because they don’t want to contribute to an eHarmony-owned website given eHarmony’s business practices.

What people are saying

Miss Cherry Pie (personal blog) says,

I, too, have felt conflicted about WB’s acquisition by eHarmony. I identify as bisexual and polyamorous, and Mr. CP and I are an active part of Seattle’s kink (leather, queer, poly) community. I wonder how eHarmony would feel about THAT?

I am fully in support of LGBTQ equality, and we even made it a point to incorporate our stance into our wedding ceremony. In short, I do not want to support eHarmony’s discriminative policies. But I don’t really want to leave until I’ve had my say.

Mrs. Cookie says,

I see eharmony’s acquisition of Weddingbee as a step toward change. I completely agree with Hot Cocoa. Having Bee stay to on and continue editing and managing the site, without interference, is a step in the right direction toward change. I too will hold Bee to the promise of maintaining an independent voice that is not censored, and I look forward to the day eharmony changes its policies to be inclusive of the GLBT community. I hope by continuing to blog and tell my story, without censorship, that I can be an instrument for change.

I think the sale of Weddingbee to eharmony is a great experiment in that possibility. So, for now I will stay on.

Miss Hot Cocoa (personal blog) says,

I will not cede power to EHarmony to define what a Weddingbee or a wedding should be, and I genuinely fear that if all of us who support the queer community go, that’s precisely what will happen. The moment EHarmony starts to censor our blogs is the moment I will go. But so long as Bee is committed to providing an open forum, I will continue to use this open (and well-attended) forum to express my support of the queer community and to challenge the heteronormativity of the wedding industrial complex.

Mrs. Lovebug says,

… I’d like to say that my own experience in the hive has been incredibly rewarding, both personally and professionally – for that I am truly grateful. That said, I’m afraid I will not be contributing to Weddingbee under the eHarmony mantle, until such time as the company extends its services to support same sex couple matching. I make this (admittedly small) gesture in support of the LGBTQ community, which I believe deserves recognition, validation, and advocacy across all political and cultural fronts…including internet dating. …

Ms. Crackers says,

“… I enjoyed reading Weddingbee because it was along the same lines as other blogs I enjoy – independent, inclusive, collaborative and “small town” feeling. Now that Mrs. Bee has fed it to the Machine (for WHATEVER reason, be it with the best of intentions or simply for profit), I’m out. …”

kenzeiw says,

“… I am crushed by the news of Weddingbee’s buyout by eHarmony. Not because Mrs. Bee is selling the site to a huge company, but because some of my favorite Bees are leaving! Bye bye to Mrs. Cream Puff, Ms. Candy Corn, Ms. Meatball, Mrs. Lovebug, Mrs. Gingerbread, Mrs. Cherry Pie and Miss Ballet Flat. …”

iMatrimony says,

“… As an industry blogger, this blog was extremely inspiring, and the success of the blog encouraging. I wish Mr. and Mrs. Bee, and the WeddingBees’ much success. …”

Linds says,

“… I really admire Mrs Bee for everything that she has done, building Weddingbee from nothing into something eHarmony would want to buy in the first place. … I still have a soft spot for what Weddingbee was when I first found it (before I was engaged! whoops!), and I had even thought about applying to be a bee someday. But I can’t give my approval of eHarmony’s policies by commenting and reading, no matter how far removed that may seem. …”

Completely Torn, by Cyd:

“… I agree with many of the current comments being made alluding to the notion that for all of the supporters of gay marriage who currently visit Weddingbee as readers or bloggers is to allow eHarmony a win of sorts. However, I am also adamantly opposed to aiding in the generation of ad revenue for eHarmony as a corporation. Thus my dilemma. I am an avid and occasionally rabid (I admit it!) supporter of LGBTQ rights and I just can’t wrap my head around this recent business transaction to fully be at peace with my continued support of the site at this point. …”

ThatDisneyGirl says,

“My joy at becoming a Weddingbee blogger has been cut short. I’ve just resigned as Miss Flip Flop and will no longer be contributing to the site. I’m very disappointed and thought long and hard about this decision, but ultimately it’s the right decision for me. …”

Ideal Favors says,

“… It is difficult to read some of the comments that people have left, personally attacking Bee and her decision, and it must be even more difficult for Bee herself to read those words after everything she has done over the years to grow the site into an extremely valuable resource for anyone in the wedding and special events world. We know that we will continue to support weddingbee and very much look forward to what exciting new projects are in the works to benefit the readers further! …”

budgetbeautiful says,

So, my mood didn’t improve when I read that my very favorite wedding website, Weddingbee, was bought by eharmony. Reading the comments at that post just make me sad. The site is never going to be like it was, and that’s mainly because I think a lot of people will leave. I do hope that eharmony will bring in some more nifty brides, but we’ll see.

midtwentiesennui says,

While I think it’s a bit hypocritical to promote marriage equity on one hand while selling your company to a corporation that clearly has worked to undermine the legitmacy of gay marriage and gayness itself, I understand the need to survive. Mrs. Bee mentioned that eHarmony was many of the companies interested in buying Weddingbee were planning to either launch a competitor site or buy hers. Hm… this sounds more like a survival strategy than a callous get-rich-quick strategy.

biscuitdoughjones blasts at eHarmony and Bee,

“… Only the owner of the site, Mrs. Bee, sees any kind of monetary compensation from the ad revenue- and she does not write hardly anything for the site. She gets paid, and the content comes from volunteers. Un. Fucking. Believable. So basically, what’s going on is that Mrs. Bee is getting a big, fat check from eHarmony, the Bees who do not approve of eHarm’s discriminatory practices can either leave (the best option, IMHO), or stay and continue to NOT get paid while eHarmony makes more of a profit from the site, which it will later feed back to MegaBigot agency Focus on the Family. Whoooooooooa, man. …”

In short order, Mrs. Bee published three reactions from her Bee bloggers, Cream Puff, Miss Sweet Tea and Mrs. Gingerbread.

Cream Puff (personal blog) says,

“… After I talked with Mrs. Bee, I realized that I had a very difficult decision to make: as much as I love Weddingbee and you readers, I felt like I couldn’t volunteer to make eHarmony more money. I had no problem spending my time and energy blogging on Weddingbee before; it is so rewarding to communicate with you guys, and so fun to be part of the Hive. Mr. and Mrs. Bee made their living from Weddingbee, and I was happy to help them. eHarmony, however, is a different story: I could not in good conscience contribute to the wealth of a company which is so drastically at odds with my own morals and values. …”

Miss Sweet Tea (personal blog) says,

“… If we are going to talk about business interests, then I believe eHarmony’s acceptance of the existing LGBTQ bloggers on Weddingbee (myself and Mrs. Gingerbread) is nothing more than another business decision. Token representation of a few LGBTQ bloggers on Weddingbee is not the same as changing an entire business model that I believe discriminates against members of the LGBTQ community as a whole. …”

Mrs. Gingerbread (personal blog) says,

“… Some have argued that the best thing we can do to support LGBTQ equality is to stay on board to try to make changes from within the organization. I am not convinced that this is the best way for me to show support for my community. It has been really fun sharing my experiences of wedding planning with all of you and I am grateful to have been a part of the Weddingbee community. If eHarmony changes their practices in the future, then I’d feel more comfortable being a part of an eHarmony company. Until then, I don’t think that I can reconcile the past and present actions of eHarmony and continue to blog on this site. …”

After presenting to us what these three women wrote, Mrs. Bee presents a letter from eHarmony’s Stan Holt (who you may remember gave the first-ever eHarmony public apology). I’m sparing you from the recycled eHarmony marketing spiels in Holt’s letter; it ends with this official statement:

Though I don’t agree with all the statements in the posts above, we do appreciate the exchange of views. The most important point we want to emphasize is that each of you has been an integral part of shaping Weddingbee and making the hive a vibrant online community. We hope you’ll continue to find value in Weddingbee, and over time see our commitment to helping the community continue to grow and thrive.

Maggie then said to this,

In a rather pitiful display, Bee “allowed” three dissenters to post their responses to the buyout. I call it pitiful because it turns out that their new corporate masters carefully vetted every single word that you read there. This attempt to smooth over a disturbing development with mush-mouthed “truth” really sickens me.

My comment

How does one take an ad-supported website powered by volunteer contributors to the next level? Two choices: One, invest a lot of personal time, effort and money to it. Two, sell out to the Man.

In this case, Mrs. Bee wanted a vacation, and was intimidated by competition, so she treated the website and the volunteer contributions in it as a business. She sold it.

Unfortunately, the buyer has a shitty terrible track record in running online communities, and a similar track record in their PR.

If a local soup kitchen got acquired by Walmart — would volunteers still want eagerly to help out?

In the above WB official announcement, Mrs. Bee recalls her beginnings:

The first non-friend Bee was Miss Firefly. I met her on the Knot boards, and she subsequently started a wedding blog. Her blog was awesome so I asked her to lunch to beg her to become a Bee. Luckily she said yes!

If she had known, would she have told Miss Firefly, during that lunch, that two and a half years later she would sell that website to, of all companies, eHarmony, because (a) several new wedding blogs would be coming out and encroaching on the site traffic, and because (b) she would want to have a vacation?

Life is about survival.

(I planned this to be a four-paragraph post, but it got out of hand.)

UPDATE: I have posted follow-up comments.