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Comments 6

1. SingleGuyInNC wrote:

   Talking? On the phone/e-mail? For THIRTY days?

   Seriously?

   It is WAY past time to meet in person. If they live nearby and aren’t interested in meeting person after that long, you need to move on to someone else because they aren’t serious.

   How? Just ask.

   Just because it is going well “talking” doesn’t mean it will go well “doing”. Relationships happen in real life, not via phone/e-mail.

   Be prepared to either move forward with a relationship or be rejected. Been there, done the latter too many times.

   Posted 29 Oct 2009 at 11:33 am ¶
2. anmegrl wrote:

   I disagree that 30 days is way too long to not see someone in person. It might be way too short for the other person. My eharmony match and I didn’t meet until 5 or 6 months into our relationship. That’s probably too long by some people’s standards but it worked out great for us. By that time we really were digging each other and meeting in person was the icing on the cake. Our schedules never quite meshed right but we also wanted to really get to know each other before meeting in person. We were both conservative and this was our first time with internet dating. Why was it a great decision? We stayed together for 3 years after that. No it didn’t develop into marriage but we are still really close friends to this day.

   It just depends on the couple. Some people get along better and find it easier to talk via email/phone for quite some time. I find as a woman that men push too fast, too soon. I want to know more about you than base it on a 2 hour date – which will probably be horrible because you’re still so nervous you feel like you have to make the best impression in the universe or else your match will never speak to you again. Something weird happens to a lot of guys when they meet/date for the first time – all the lies come pouring out and you never get the true nature of that person. They agree with everything you say and then wonder why you aren’t interested anymore. You haven’t shown them anything to be interested in.

   She may also be having trouble with narrowing her choices if she’s talking with someone else. Want the upperhand? Let her get to her comfort level if she’s worth it to you. If this is her first foray into internet dating she would understandably have more concerns than you do. There are a lot of nuts out there. It may be distance or just life in general. Then when you do eventually meet, neither of you will be nervous, lying psychos because it’ll seem like meeting an old friend.

   If she is talking/emailing/chatting with you a lot – meaning not just giving one or two sentence answers but really communicating with you – she is interested in you. She probably wants to meet you when it feels right. What I would do is see when the next holiday is where you will both have that day off (and no family commitments) and plan to see each other for a short date. If she still refuses, keep her on the backburner but move on.

   Posted 31 Oct 2009 at 6:13 pm ¶
3. Joey wrote:

   She found someone else . so it does not matter anymore .

   Posted 31 Oct 2009 at 6:15 pm ¶
4. anmegrl wrote:

   Aww:( better luck next time and there will be a next time. Just stay positive.

   Posted 31 Oct 2009 at 6:24 pm ¶
5. Joey wrote:

   I will be , and I will keep trying . Thank you for your long post . That took time .

   Posted 31 Oct 2009 at 6:37 pm ¶
6. Alan wrote:

   I think I’m probably prone to fall into the “moves too fast category”. I personally don’t want to spend 6 months of my life, or even one for that matter, communicating with someone only to meet them and determine that I have no interest. So I exchange a couple of OC messages and then ask for the phone number and set up a first date on first call. Anyone see major problems with this?

   Posted 24 Aug 2010 at 5:28 pm ¶

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