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After reading How to get more matches at eHarmony, R3dcurlz commented:
Oh my gosh! That’s terrible! I may want more matches, but I’m not going to lie or lower my standards to get it.
Weird.
Valid points, R3dcurlz! Let me give two points in reply:
A. eHarmony is nothing but a tool to meet people. There’s lying to people, and there’s tweaking the tool. Here is a comparison:
Lying to your matches:
- Giving the wrong age.
- Using much-younger photos.
- Saying you’re Christian but you don’t believe Jesus is God.
- Putting “0″ on the Kids setting when you have joint custody with someone.
- Choosing “Cooking for my family and friends” as a skill when you really just prefer take-out.
- Giving another answer to “What kind of exercise do you prefer?” instead of “I really don’t.”
Tweaking eHarmony:
- Changing your zipcode to where you work or to a nearby metropolitan area
- Rotating your education settings to get more matches.
- Accepting everyone from age 21 to 110.
- Getting ideas from the Internet on how to answer tricky canned questions
- Picking out commonalities from your match’s About Me page and citing them in your answers to matches.
- Enclosing your email address within one of your questions or your answers.
B. eHarmony is far from perfect. Are you placing your entire faith on pre-selecting a life-partner to a computer program? Are you satisfied in saying, “OK, computer, these (click-click-click) are my standards, go and find me a potential spouse based on it”?
For example, the questionnaire had this question: “How important to you is: 24. The friendship between me and my partner?” Do you think that current computer programs can understand what friendship is? Are you confident that when the software says you two will get along great, you would?
eHarmony is just a computer program! It’s bound to match you with wrong people. Finding a lifetime partner is hard work, with or without eHarmony.

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