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Comments 5

1. Tina wrote:

   AMEN!!! I totally agree with you, I think the if a match wants to know about your spirituality, that should be something seen and not written down!!!! Perhaps they should take the time to get to know us and ask us though provoking questions.

   Posted 30 Aug 2006 at 9:21 am ¶
2. Bill wrote:

   I’m going to be the voice of dissent here. While I do agree that one’s spirituality should be seen, is it really reasonable to wait until you’re dating to find that stuff out? I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask someone to articulate their spiritual beliefs, and then wait to see if they “walk the talk” so to speak. I have in my “Must-Have’s” that my match must share my spiritual beliefs. If my match continues communication, shouldn’t they expect the question to come up? Perhaps putting the question into your own words would be better than using the canned question(I would think that a question about one’s spirituality *is* thought-provoking.)

   Let’s take for example two people who list their religion as “Jewish”. What does that mean? For one, maybe simply that his/her parents were Jewish? Maybe the other goes to Synagogue every week, and keeps kosher? Those are two very different (yet both accurate) definitions, but likely a poor match. Ask ten people what “Christian” means, and you could easily get ten different answers.

   So is this person (and I suppose I include myself) trying to weed out certain people? Well, I suppose so, but really I just don’t want to waste my time or theirs. It is a deal-breaker (“Must-Have”), so isn’t it better to get that type of information as early as possible? Is there a better way? (An honest question — I’m really asking)

   Posted 01 Dec 2006 at 6:11 pm ¶
3. eharmonyblog wrote:

   Bill, one way is to add more in-depth multiple-choice questions about one’s spirituality. Check out this random profile from Catholic Singles: http://www.catholicsingles.com/cgi-bin/guest_search_new.cgi?user=147212. However, a site can go overboard too by adding more in-depth questions in other areas like smoking, alcohol, child-rearing, political stance, type of humor and so forth.

   Posted 01 Dec 2006 at 6:54 pm ¶
4. Mike wrote:

   I have to side with Bill. I’m actually one of those guys that does ask this question of every match. I think our spirituality is so much a part of our political and social understanding that I have a difficult time imagining how one gets ethical answers that do not some how radiate from one’s beliefs about human nature.

   Additionally, I am trying to weed out fundamentalists and trying to be matched with people who are thinking critically about what it means to be alive.

   It’s a powerful question. As for asking it when we meet – that too. Hours of conversational fun.

   It’s been my experience that a short answer to such a complicated question suggests the person has not thought much about the larger things in life and “I’m a mass going Roman Catholic” would have my mouse over the “Close” button.

   (great website, btw)

   Posted 02 May 2007 at 3:30 am ¶
5. Tammy wrote:

   why would you just close off a catholic? that is pretty judgemental.

   Posted 02 Mar 2010 at 2:02 pm ¶

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