eHarmony BlogThe Chemistry TV ads have suddenly associated “eHarmony” and “Reject”, all over again, but now on a national level. It informed the public that on the other side of all those happy couples are a million rejects. This issue is as old as eHarmony. Tell our readers what you think.
Loading ...Read further in our Rejected by eHarmony category and check out the previous months’ polls in our Polls category. Share your experience by leaving a comment.
October 31-November 3: eHarmony’s Twelfth Free Communication Weekend 4 seconds ago
From Julie Carter: Rejected by eHarmony dot com 9 seconds ago
Contact list of eHarmony management 13 seconds ago
From Beyond Blue: Dear God: Why E-Harmony Has Got It Wrong 17 seconds ago
Poll 9 (Feb 07): The lies of eHarmony members 23 seconds agoI don’t think the issue is “rejecting” people, per se, but rather the astonishing hypocrisy of the site. If you want to, you can create a business with very focused goals & stay narrowly focused on delivering those goals. Fair enough.
The problem with eHarmony is that its practices diverge dramatically from its stated goals, which lends an aura of sneakiness to the company’s business practices and leaves users feeling manipulated & cheated. If you can’t match members under 21 years old, state that up front. If your site isn’t designed for those who are separated or have been divorced more than once, just say so. What’s the big deal?
The deeper problem is that, after basing its entire business model on a 149-point personality assessment, eHarmony doesn’t even match people based on their profiles. I purchased initial limited memberships 3 times over the course of about 2-1/2 years. EVERY SINGLE TIME I canceled my membership after failing to receive EVEN ONE PROFILE that met my most basic criteria. In fact, some of the “matches” were entertaining in their inappropriateness!
And EVERY TIME I canceled I continued to receive “matches,” along with eH solicitations offering a free membership term — which is a bit like the old joke: One diner says, “The food at this restaurant is horrible.” To which her companion replies, “Yes, and such small portions!”
Uh, Deborah…, eHarmony company policies do not allow a person to join more than once (i.e., it’s one person — one profile). If they let this, there’s a chance that the system matches a person to two of these profiles (or all three of them!) — imagine his confusion. I think you signed up thrice to avail of the 7-day trials three times. Then, yes, all three times you were dissatisfied with your matches (it happens…) — at least you got your money back.
Now just for discussion, how come you feel users were scammed when eH didn’t collect any money from such people?
You’ve misunderstood — I had a single profile. Canceled my membership. Responded to eHarmony’s “come back” offer and rejoined — I suppose you could view it as reactivating my profile. Canceled again. Rejoined again. Canceled a third time. They kept offering me membership incentives to rejoin.
Don’t understand your “scam” question.
I guess I don’t understand why they aren’t matching certain people. If there truly aren’t any matches then fine, but I have a hard time believing that a 29 year old school teacher from Boston has no one in a 15-mile radius that she is compatible with. (this just happened to a friend of mine)
Sara, is she a single mom seeking childless men who don’t want more children? Did she exclude Caucasians or Christians in her settings? See also our post How to get more matches at eHarmony.
Honestly, I wanted to be mad at eHarmony when I found out that gay people weren’t being matched–but, although I’m very, very for gay rights (I can’t say that enough), I think a private company has every right to serve whichever demographic they choose. I’m a straight woman; I wouldn’t go to gay.com to find a mate, would I? As far as not matching people who may not be emotionally ready for a match, I actually think that is quite smart. It may ruffle a few peoples’ feathers, but I’ve known more than a couple of unstable people that I’ve met through other dating services. If I were still looking for love, I’m sure I’d start at eHarmony!
I have been a member for three months now and I have noticed a rare, but reoccurring phenomenon. I keep getting repeats of the same people, three so far and one match I had open twice in the same day. Must be people come back and create a new profile answering the questionnaire differently hoping to beat the system.
I have been a member for three months now and I have noticed a rare, but reoccurring phenomenon. I keep getting repeats of the same people, three so far and once I was matched with someone with two profiles in the same day. Must be people come back and create a new profile answering the questionnaire differently hoping to beat the system. I hope I can remember them so I can close them.
Hi I am a journalism student working on a project on e harmony. Is there anyone ho has not been “matchable” or have not found a match that is around the boston area and would be interested to do a video interview?
Marilu, please start a new discussion with your request. This would broadcast your project to more readers, instead of being in a tiny corner of this site.
so they advertise “are you tired of being alone? looking for companionship? well go to eHarmony”
so you think “yeah! I’m alone and sad and tired of it, let’s go to eHarmony! I can even contact people for free for 4 days, woohoo, maybe I can find other lonely sad people and we can become happy together!”
so you go there and answer “sometimes” to “do you feel depressed” and they go “SORRY, you can’t come here if you’re tired of being alone and feel sad about it.
I mean seriously.. WHO ELSE goes to an -INTERNET- dating site then SAD and slightly depressed people. You’re depressed because you can’t find love, I thought the website was supposed to HELP with that, not make it worst.
eHarmony causes me to become emotionally unstable.
I don’t want to date somebody who has been married multiple times, so in that regard, I agree with eharmony rejections. The problem I have with the site is that they “match” me to people who do not fit my professional, educational, financial, or geographical specifications. If I would have known that they are a Christian-run website, I would have never logged on. I wish I would have done my research beforehand.
Hi
There are a lot of things that bother me about eHarmony, I could write a book on them. This rejection thing, well it looks fineuntil you are the one bumped out the door. And then their marketing end makes all kinds of outrageous puffery that you will find the ” love of your life.” And while they do their terms and conditions and state that they make no guarantees about the compatibitiliy of the matches they have. If they want to be that elitist or exclusive if they were upfront about that maybe I could excuse it. I wonder if they pass those test themselves. I just find it reprehensible that they are not more upfront about their terms and conditions and what they can and can not do. In addition, who wants a dating agency judging and micromanaging your relationships. I don’t. I am not sure that I trust the reliability or validness of these tests. It is almost like taking a lie detector tests. There are ways to beat the system and people personality can vary they can be out going one minute and not so another. And what are they looking people who never get angry, people who never get depressed. The only people like that are either insane or having been living in some shelter environment like convent or monastery. And people like that are boring and scripted.
I would advise anyone who wants to get involved in a dating agency to read up on them. eHarmony is not for everyone.
I might not agree with everything about “e” — but I have to admit, I have met some truly wonderful people. I just would like more accurate and responsible information. Unlike most, I know I will find the woman of my future — not sure when, but I know I will. The “e” is just another way to make that happen. Maybe we should hope they can use all this to fine tune … and then we can too.
I took the personality profile test and they sent me and email that I wasn’t allowed to be on eharmony at all. I swear I filled it out correctly and honestly. I am faithful good and a decent person. So why do they pick some people to be on there but others are totally rejected?
After reading all 16 messages, I agree with Deborah that eH should state, with bold lettering, that there will be an 80% possibility that eH can help matching someone. Then after the grueling 42 minute test comes back with a rejection notice, who can complain.
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