Wow. Let me first congratulate you for trying online dating and trying an online matchmaking service. I know that it is a big leap for some of you. Now, eHarmony Blog is not eHarmony, so we can’t give you any insider information, but today, I’d like to distill the foremost tips and tricks in making the best of your experience. I’m going to ask you to trust us, because one month is not a lot of time.
Tip #1. Call eHarmony to add two months to your service
If you are reading this during your first seven three days, great! Call eHarmony NOW — they are open 24/7 — and say, “I would like to claim your offer for ‘Buy 1 month, get 2 months free.’” (Use these exact words.) If they ask where you got the offer, don’t say our name — say you got it on the Internet.
If they refuse, say you’re not completely satisfied with the matches you have received so far, and that you’re not completely satisfied with their customer service either. Your agent KNOWS that you are within the 7 3-day trial period — she or he is mandated to save the sale. (Beth Kujawski got her 2 month extension.)
If you are past the seven three days, well go try anyway.
One more thing. eHarmony automatically renews your membership without warning. To get 100% assurance that they will not charge your card, remove your credit card from the system.
Tip #2. Go out and get new photos
The cruel way to say this is, “You’ve already decided to put out some money to find dates, so put out a bit more to pimp yourself and look your best.” The kind way? “People are as visual as you are, perhaps more, so show them something fantastic and breathtaking.”
There are many tips out there for choosing photos for online dating. I have my four favorites:
- Wear something you would wear on a first date. Not a T-shirt, not a plain blouse, not your work uniform. Call a friend and explain that you’ve done the craziest thing and you joined eHarmony and you need his or her help attracting some dates – specifically, with dazzling photos.
- Go out one sunny or shady afternoon with your friend and visit local cafes, parks and sights, or drive out of town. Treat your friend to lunch, catch up with your friend’s life, and meanwhile your friend would take 15-20 photos of you throughout the afternoon. Did your friend approve of what you wore? Did you smile? Did you feel relaxed? Good!
- Repeat one and two with a different attire.
- Have your friend — or even better, an attractive friend of the opposite sex — choose the best 2 or 3 among the 30-40 photos. Afterwards, use photo editing software to crop, rotate, brighten, and enhance the 2 or 3 your friends chose.
You NEED top-notch photos, sweetie, preferably before you enable eHarmony to send you more matches.
Tip #3. Manipulate your About Me answers to say three things
Yes, “manipulate.” The About Me has 13 questions — 13 opportunities — for you to answer three primary questions. For goodness sake, don’t palter, don’t waste your screen space, make every word count.
- What are you looking for in a partner? Be very specific with what this person MUST have, but don’t complain, criticize or whine either. For those less than a “must”, say it with “preferably” or “is a bonus.”
- What things in your life right now that are important to you AND fascinating to people? That is, merge your “most endearing qualities” list and your “what’s important to me” list. Be a creature like no other; This is your chance to shine, baby.
- What do you do on your leisure time? That is, make the reader want to join you in these leisure activities. Vary your list with indoor and outdoor, summer and winter, daytime and nighttime, mental and physical, planned and spontaneous, funny and serious activities.
For instance, the book question: Does your book answer at least one of the above three? If it doesn’t, please, leave the question empty! What good will “I’m so not into reading,” or “I last read, ‘He’s Not Into You,’” do??
What to Leave Out
(According to Dr. Steven Carter of eHarmony)
- Spelling mistakes (List of most common misspelled words)
- All the details about you
- Negativity and what you hate
- Too much family or work
- Vague, noncommittal remarks
Finished? Read the whole thing again and see that you answered the above primary questions.
Tip #4. Go a bit beyond your comfort zone
Not getting enough matches? Review your settings and widen your pool just a bit, particularly geography and age.
Not getting enough activity? Review your past matches and widen your criteria just a bit. For example, although he may not have great photos, a great intriguing profile or impeccable answers, if he doesn’t seem like a neurotic or a psycho, communicate further or give out your phone number. Go a bit beyond your comfort level.
Hey, it’s not your match’s fault she hasn’t read eHarmony Blog and she hasn’t learned how to use the eHarmony system effectively.
Tip #5. Attract
Not getting enough phone calls or phone numbers? Pyke’s advice for attracting beautiful women also works for men, too. He wrote,
Desperate? Her?
… successfully communicating with beautiful women requires a style different from communicating with homely women. Be yourself, yes, but you must rise above the rest. One’s responses must be
- assertive (e.g., take the lead)
- unapologetic (e.g., no “how do you feel about younger men?”)
- challenging (e.g., she must earn your attention)
- denying her the benefit of her looks (e.g., no shallow compliments)
Why? Because all her life, she’s been approached by diffident, apologetic, generous and bewitched men. Are you another one?
His advice works for men, too. Be someone with her shit together. Give yourself a favour by being assertive, unapologetic, challenging, and confident to ALL your matches.
For example, is the “what are your body-type preferences?” question confident? Is your foremost lifetime goal to get hitched? Does “guided communication” with you include sharing how your last partner treated you like dirt? Do you send hard-hitting questions on Stage 3 and then ask about the weather on Stage 4? Those sort of things.
Tip #6. Expect a lot of non-responding and vanishing matches
Our last tip is on what to expect.
Just as you yourself received matches before you decided to pay for the service, you WILL be matched to people who are not paid and will not respond. Just as you did before you paid, they looked. Some looked and never returned. It’s going to be a pain. Our poll “How many matches are dead accounts?” has attempted to find out the percentage. You are going to have to develop immunity to this.
Answer the About Me questions thoroughly Nothing says, “I looked and never returned” more than pithy About Me answers. I don’t mean force answers to all 13 questions; I mean give your profile meat and bones.
The other thing to expect is that many matches will stop communicating or “fall off the face of the earth.” Our poll “When there’s no reply, it means…” has attempted to find out why. It’s going to be frustrating. I am guilty of vanishing from my matches, too.
Have fun
There you go, my most distilled set of advice for enjoying eHarmony. Have fun! Good luck! For more tips and tricks, read more in our Tips category or watch eHarmony’s official “5 Keys” video.
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