eHarmony Blog

eHarmony answers the question, “Why aren’t my matches responding?”

While searching Gmail for something I found this response from Customer Service to an earlier inquiry:

… Please remember, while it’s true that we can never “force” everyone to respond to communication, there are constant improvements we can make to invite users to reply. However, we would also like to encourage you to take a strong stance with matches who do not respond. Once you have made contact with a match, we recommend giving that member two weeks to reply to you. Once two weeks have passed without a response, we suggest that you close the match or place the match on hold.

This was circa 2006, before Nudges came out. I also found a similar suggestion in the help system, this time updated regarding Nudges:

One option you have as a member is to “nudge” your match to respond to your communication if they have not done so after seven days. To “nudge” a match, go the Match Details page of the match in question and click the “Nudge” link at the top of the page. This link will only be displayed if it has been seven days since your last communication.

We recommend giving that member two weeks to reply to your nudge. Two weeks gives most people time to return from a business trip, personal vacation, or any other event that may make it difficult for them to access a computer and respond to you. Once two weeks have passed without a response, we suggest that you close the match. Ultimately, the decision is yours, but we highly recommend that you remain focused on matches who have engaged you in an ongoing dialogue.

Part 1: Close the match automatically after two weeks

Since eHarmony “highly recommends” that we close matches after two weeks, why not make it automatic?

• Convenient. An automatic-close feature cleans our match lists and removes dead, non-responding and uninterested matches. Automatic housekeeping.
• Focused. When a person has a goal and wants to achieve something, he or she sets deadlines … and observes them.
• Serious. Some members never send Nudges because they sound like begging. Nudges will deserve another look.

Part 2: Impose a deadline to respond

How would you impose a deadline on a match? Even while Phil Collins sang, “You can’t hurry love”, my suggestion is to insert the following on the Nudge message.

Subject: eHarmony – Nudge

Dear eHarmony Blog:

Jan from Anytown, USA, has requested that we “nudge” you because you have not responded to her/his latest request for communication. “Nudge” is a friendly way of saying “I am very interested in getting to know you better, please login and start communicating with me.”

Jan also requested that we close this match if we don’t hear from you after 14 days so that she/he can focus on other matches. Jan hopes to hear from you soon.

To maximize your experience with eHarmony, we recommend that you communicate with every match that you receive. Many of our successful couples almost passed each other by because of something they read. By communicating with every match regardless of initial impressions, they found their soul mate.

«Start Communicating Now»

eHarmony notifications have been changing

On the subject of “constant improvements we can make to invite users to reply”, I’m happy to say that eHarmony has been working hard on rewording and changing their notification emails (e.g., New Match, New Communication Received, Nudge Received, Photo Nudge Received and now Icebreakers) and trying new things. Of course, they constantly monitor which wording works better and gets more clicks. I wish I can show you how their emails have changed throughout the years.

It’s great. I want to say I appreciate their efforts.