When you are used to receiving a regular stream of matches, and are used to devoting a certain amount of time a week reviewing them initiating communication and responding to them, dry spells are frustrating. I know. It suddenly feels lonely. There might even be remorse about matches recently closed out because their profiles were as flat as cardboard.
There are several things known to work to pull the matching system out of its rut. Many of what follows are folk remedies, because remember, eHarmony has never guaranteed anyone would get more than 12 matches a year.
Effects are not instant. Some take a day or two. If symptoms persists, put things back and then try another approach.
1. Expand your Match Settings a bit
Of all things, your geography and your age dictate how many matches you get. Getting too few matches? The “official” cure is to expand your criteria or loosen your Match Flexibility a bit.
2. Rotate your Match Settings
Go to your match settings and change something — anything — then click “Find New Match”. Afterwards, if you want, change it back. Some report this resets things and it works.
According to this folk remedy: No, don’t trust the “Match Flexibility” to do this for you.
Here are a few key things to rotate:
- Your home zipcode to your work zipcode, or back. See also our “Match Circuit” tip.
- Distance
- Age range
- Would you be willing to be matched with someone who is willing to relocate for the right person?: Yes to Maybe to No, or back
- Your denomination to ‘Prefer not to specify’, or back
- Would you like to start a new family by having or adopting a baby?: Yes to Maybe, No to Maybe, or back
- Please indicate the most that you would accept your ideal match smoke./Please indicate the most that you would accept your ideal match drink.
- Would you be willing to accept a partner who has children 18 years old or younger living full time in their home?: Yes to No, or back.
See also our mega “Match Settings” tips article.
3. Sign in more frequently
Are you waiting for the “You’ve got a new match” emails? Don’t. Sign in more frequently, so you are seen as an active member in the system. Click “Find New Matches” whenever you remember.
4. Turn matching off and then on
Aha, another folk remedy.
5. Call eHarmony Customer Service
The faucet stopped working, so call the plumber. Some report that eHarmony Customer Service can make adjustments on their end.
They may even reimburse you for the week or three days that you got no matches.
6. Retake the test
The theory: Get matched with a totally new set of people by retaking the test.
I say this is a marvelous idea and it may work.
7. Use the eHarmony Blog Script
Of course, finally, a shameless plug. Here is the script.
Things that don’t work
On the other hand, we here are confident that the following won’t get you more matches:
- Complaining to people other than those in eHarmony Customer Service
- Posting on public websites and blogs that eHarmony sucks.
- Cleaning up one’s match list., i.e., closing matches.
- Putting matches on hold or off hold
- Sending nudges, photo nudges or icebreakers
- Uploading, changing or deleting photos
- Canceling or extending one’s membership
- Clearing your browser cookies or tweaking your computer
- Including an email address, a URL, or obscenities on your About Me profile.
When eHarmony’s automated filters find an email address, a URL, or obscenities in your profile, it will send you an email notice and ban you from the matching database. When this happens, you have to call or email eHarmony support to apologize and request reinstatement. Yeah, that’s no fun.
In short, eHarmony goes into a rut from time to time. eHarmony’s membership chart proves that 11 to 16 thousand people join every day. If you were compatible with X number of them last week, you should be compatible with X number of them this week, too. The thing is, eHarmony won’t fix itself.
More on eHarmony Blog