(Here, for your reference, is the complete list of 50 Must Have choices. eHarmony Blog is proud to be your most comprehensive encyclopedia for eHarmony information.)
In Dr. Warren’s book, “How To Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing In Two Dates Or Less,” he introduces the concept that good daters always carry with them a mental shopping list of traits they must have in a mate, and traits they can’t stand. With this list tucked away in their heads, they can quickly assess whether someone they meet fits their core values.
Examine the list of items below and select Ten qualities that your potential mate Must Have. You will find it challenging to limit your list to only ten items, so please choose only those items that are most important to you. Use this as an opportunity to learn a little more about yourself, and really think about what you’re looking for!
Traits
- 1. Chemistry…
- I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.
- 2. Communicator…
- I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.
- 3. Sense of Humor…
- I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.
- 4. Verbal Intimacy…
- I must know that my partner is sharing their deepest emotional thoughts and desires.
- 5. Emotionally Healthy…
- I must have a partner who is emotionally healthy, and able to share a stable life with someone else.
- 6. Strong Character…
- I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.
- 7. Artistry…
- I must have a partner who has a passion for music, literature, drama, art, and the finer things in life either as a spectator or participant.
- 8. Kindness…
- I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.
- 9. Education…
- I must have someone whose educational achievements match my own.
- 10. Organized…
- I must have a partner who values structure in their life.
- 11. Exciting…
- I must have someone who isn’t afraid to take a risk and who sees life as an adventure.
- 12. Patience…
- I must have someone who can handle life’s frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, steady, demeanor.
- 13. Tolerant…
- I must have a partner who is able to hear and appreciate divergent viewpoints.
- 14. Conflict Resolver…
- I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.
- 15. Attractiveness…
- I must have a partner who is considered “very attractive” by most current standards.
- 16. Personal Habits…
- I must have a partner who maintains high standards of personal hygiene, orderliness, and other personal habits.
- 17. Affectionate…
- I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.
- 18. Industriousness…
- I must have someone who is willing to work hard at whatever they do.
- 19. Energy Level…
- I must have someone whose energy level matches my own.
- 20. Emotionally Generous…
- I must have a partner who enjoys people and is generous with his or her compassion, attention, sympathies and love.
- 21. Intellect…
- I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.
- 22. Self-Confident…
- I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life’s ups and downs.
- 23. Unassuming…
- I must have someone who is able to accept criticism, and even admit to being wrong sometimes.
- 24. Able to Accept Help…
- I must have a partner who is willing to accept outside help for personal or relationship issues that are serious and important.
- 25. Curiosity…
- I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge and who strives to learn as much as possible.
- 26. Loyal…
- I must have someone I can count on to always support me.
- 27. Adaptability…
- I must have a partner who is able to adapt to life’s surprises.
Values
- 28. Autonomy…
- I must have a partner who will give me space to be my own person.
- 29. Family Life…
- I must have a partner who is committed to marriage, home, and family.
- 30. Shared Interests…
- I must have someone who is willing to share my interests and passions.
- 31. Style and Appearance…
- I must have someone who cares about the way they look and dress and has a sense of personal style.
- 32. Shared Politics…
- I must have someone who has political beliefs which are the same or similar to my own.
- 33. Spirit of Volunteerism…
- I must have a partner who shares my willingness to volunteer and support community and/or social causes.
Family
- 34. No Children…
- I must have someone who shares my desire to not have children.
- 35. Family…
- I must have someone who shares my desire to have or adopt children.
- 36. Stepchildren…
- I must have someone who will accept my children as their own.
- 37. Parenting Style…
- I must have someone who shares my views about how to raise children.
- 38. Parent Care…
- I must have someone who is willing to help me take care of my parents, now or when the time comes.
Social Living
- 39. Staying In…
- I must have a partner who mainly enjoys staying in together and having quiet evenings alone or with close friends.
- 40. Sociability…
- I must have a partner who loves to socialize with lots of different people.
Spirituality
- 41. Spirituality…
- I must have someone with a similar deep commitment to spirituality, who shares my beliefs.
- 42. Religious Practice…
- My partner must be committed to being an active member of a church or temple congregation.
- 43. Spiritual Acceptance…
- My partner must accept and respect my spiritual beliefs, whether they share them or not.
Financial
- 44. Responsible…
- My partner must be financially responsible.
- 45. Ambition…
- I must have a partner who shares my desire to achieve high financial and/or career goals.
- 46. Relaxed…
- I must have a partner who is able to forget about money and focus on the important parts of life.
Sexuality
- 47. Abstinent…
- I must have a spouse who has saved himself/herself sexually for marriage.
- 48. Traditional…
- I must have someone who is reserved and traditional in their sexual needs.
- 49. Sexually Knowledgeable…
- I must have someone who is mature and experienced as a potential sexual partner and is able to express himself/herself freely.
- 50. Passionate…
- I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding.
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